Friday, April 3, 2009

What A Zoo!

My sister, Bridget, and her two boys are in Milwaukee for a few days, so my mother came to spend the night with their dog. Dougan is a standard long haired dachshund and very, very sweet natured. He reminds me of Winnie the Pooh's friend Eeyore. If he could talk I'm sure he'd say, "Thanks for noticing me". He loves me because he is Bridget's baby and our voices are so similar that I think I remind him of her.

Mom had to leave my house at 6:00 this morning for work. Poor Dougan didn't know what to think. I, being NOT a morning person, was still sleeping away when I heard the poor pooch begin to cry and pace back and forth, which made a lovely clicking sound as he introduced his toenails to my hard wood floors!
At 6:05 a.m. Scott and I got up because, of course, our dogs were now stirred up as well. Sophie, my long haired dachshund, wanted out. When I opened the door to chain her up, Dougan made a mad dash, in search of my mom I'm sure. I caught him just in the nick of time and chained him too.

Well, the rest of my day has been quite the adventure!!!

~By 8 a.m. Gabby, who had just been bathed, took off on me, while still naked, and peed a puddle in the front room floor. By the time I discovered it, Dougan had stepped in it and dragged it across the room!

~By 8:30 a.m. Jose', my little chihuahua, was sitting in the basket of dog toys PUKING! His personal specialty. It's his way of saying, "I'm not digging this scene".

~By 9:00 a.m. Dougan was so unnerved he was having diarrhea on my KITCHEN floor!

~By 9:30 a.m. all the weenies were wanting to go out at the same time {the chihuahua was hiding on a pillow behind my bed!}.

Miss Phoebe, having to wait while I struggled to chain the other two up first, promptly wee~wee'd at the top of the steps.

Then, during the course of trying to get Phoebe's collar and leash on her {which she still HATES}, Little Miss Gabby escaped out the back door barefooted. {It's still pretty chilly here.} So... I had quite the time chasing her around the back yard while dragging a resistant puppy around by the neck! These weenies aren't to be trusted though and if I let loose of one of them they will be out in the middle of Main Street {on which I live} lickety split!!!

~ By 10:oo a.m. I was becoming HOMICIDAL and decided it was time for a nice cup of hot tea, which got cold before I could take a single sip due to more clean up on aisle... you name it ~ {Remember, little guy didn't want to join the weenies outside, so while I was having lots of laughs out back, he did his business in the dining room!} The whole episode took place with me in a pair of red flannel pajama pants covered in penguins that were topped off by a purple T-shirt that reads, "Lord give me Peace... Before I go to Pieces!"
Now how appropriate was that?!! My Father~In~Law, who is one of my best buddies in the whole wide world, is also my next door neighbor, therefore he gets a birds eye view on some of my days and, with great understanding and sympathy for me, bought me this T-shirt for Christmas!

~ By 10:30 a.m. I was nearly SUICIDAL and decided to take a bath, which involved Gabby hanging over the edge of the tub splashing water all over the bathroom. When I got out, my sister phoned from Milwaukee, where she was sauntering along, enjoying a morning shopping trip. She wanted to ask a question about a birthday present for Gabby. Plus, she wondered what I was doing!!!!!!! She didn't realize her doggie was here. After laughing at me she finished with,

"Well, feel free to enjoy my dog while I'm gone!" HA~HA~HA!!!!!
Thankfully, it is now 2:30 in the afternoon and all babies, including a certain little curly haired girl, are peacefully napping.

And all I've got to say is if anyone comes through that door this evening asking, "What's for dinner?", I'm gonna knock 'em out!


Kar said...

I'm am laughing so hard right now that it hurts!! Oh to have the view that your FIL has would be to good!!! Even though I'm hurting right now, I feel for you Danette!! Seriously. :) The day is almost over now so cross your fingers that the evening is quieter for you. :) Keep plugging along dear!


Becky said...

So...I guess I won't ask you what I WAS going to ask you regarding dinner. I can see that Mr. Jerry is going to have to share some stories soon! ;-D Hope your day is going better by now (4:30pm) I will see you very soon!! (as in tomorrow!)

Kathy said...

I am still chuckling!Are you sure we dont live in the same house? I always refer to my home as "my blessed life" or "my crazy life". I think I will refer to your home as "Danette's crazy blessed life" At the end of the day isnt it great? Wouldnt change a thing I bet! Just please dont order Pizza Hut! LOL Love you Kathy

Eclectic Pink Rose said...

Okay, I am hysterical right now!!!! So sorry, but on this side of the blog that is SOOOOO hilarious, but I am sympathizing with you through the laughter and tears because I think we've all been there. The dogs are SOOOOO cute and adorable and OF COURSE what a sweet sweet picture of your baby girl. Thank you so much for sharing this!!!!!
♥ Teresa

Dolly said...

Ohhhhh my gosh...I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants!
But I am laughing with you hum.... not at you!
Too funny!

And after all that you made dinner and baked cookies....

Hugz n Blessings,

Nikki via The Scarlett Rose Garden said...

WHEW! What utter chaos! You poor dear, lol....

carey said...

Thanks for making me "howl"! lol! :-D